Read with interest on the news article about 2 brothers who were found after they went missing for 2 days. I was concerned as the boys are from SPS. The older boy is in P4 while the younger one is in P2. It seemed that they were upset when their parents refused to buy them the bicycle that they wanted so they decided to get it themselves. They took about $200 from their mother's drawer and didn't return home after the National Day's celebration in school. They went to Pasir Ris to buy themselves a bicycle each and stayed on to try out their new bicycles in the vicinity. They spent the remaining money on meals and slept in the playground. Meanwhile, their parents had made a police report, thinking that they could have been kidnapped. Though it wasn't the first time that the boys have run away from home, it was the first time that they were away for more than 24 hours. The police found the older boy cycling in the neighbourhood of Pasir Ris , still enjoying his new bike and his new found freedom.

After reading it, it sets me wondering why was the 10-year-old boy so bold as to not only to steal from his mother but to disappear with his younger brother without second thoughts? Whose fault is it that he has become so daring? Both the parents are out working and they are left under the care of their grandfather. Is it advisable to get a senior citizen to look after 3 (they have a younger sibling) mischievous and playful kids? Were their parents wrong in having rejected their request for a bicycle? Did the boys get the idea of what they did from the TV? The list can go on and on and on but ultimately I think it's a combination of a few factors that could have led to such an event. The boys are too young to really understand that what they did was not appropriate, they were more interested in getting what they wanted and at all cost. That thought could have been planted in their minds by anybody from anywhere or it could have been a trick that has worked for them previously. Thus, unless they are taught the right way to get the things they want, I'm not surprised that this won't be the last time that they will do the disappearing act.

It has never been easy being a parent, espcially when both parents have to work to make ends meet and when that happens, it's always the relationship between the parents and their children that is being compromised. Most of the time, such parents fail to really understand their children's needs cause they simply aren't spending enough time with them to reach that level of understanding. In fact, that is the most common complaint that growing children have about their parents. As they mature, children demand more of their parents' attention which, sad to say, is something that working parents are not able to provide and as a result they seek other outlets to get the attention they need. And chances are, it would be their friends in school whom they spend most of their time with. Eventually, they would share more of their secrets with their friends rather than with their parents who, most of the time , are the last ones to know what is on their children's minds. So when the children go astray, the parents' initial reaction will be one of shock and disbelief. They just couldn't understand why their children would end up doing what they did as they believe they have always provided for them in every way they can. Yes indeed they have given them everything that they could possibly give except for the most important thing - their undivided attention.

Can care and concern be replaced by material needs? Is the need to provide for the family a good enough reason to neglect the emotional needs of the children? I guess, parents would have to weigh the benefits of having a high income against having a close bond with their children. It would be perfect if they could strike a balance between the two extremes but life isn't that perfect. Could then that be the reason why people are not getting marry and having children? Perhaps it is but then there are examples of happy families around. Perhaps then these happy families should come forward to share their 'recipe' for a happy family. Do you know of any such happy family?